"As Christians we will sooner of later discover that it is in the valleys of our lives that we find refreshment from God Himself. It is not until we have walked with Him through some very deep troubles that we discover He can lead us to find our refreshment in Him right there in the midst of our difficulty. We are thrilled beyond words when there comes restoration to our souls and spirits from His own gracious Spirit." - W. Phillip Keller, A Shepherd Looks at Psalm 23
We love to cover up pain and ugliness, to hide them under make up and frosting and do our best to pretend they don't exist, because we have allowed life to become about the pursuit of happiness. We want them do die and go away, but we cannot escape them. They are constant, they are everywhere. Looking through world news the other day, I was surprised at the hundreds of deaths that happen every year that I know nothing about. The exponential amount of grieving that happens. It is a devastating thought. Brokenness is a constant state of being.
I am walking in grief right now and I don't know what to do with it. It is very sad and exhausting and persistent and disturbing and it's given me a long lasting headache. My heart hurts an awful lot, as do the hearts of all the people in my family. All this over our beautiful little dog who died on Thursday.
I have a question. Grief is constant. It is a persistent, recurring rhythm of life. It is not something that happens once and never happens again. It is not the chicken pox. I will feel grief many more times, often with much more intensity and sorrow and pain. If sorrow is a constant rhythm, why is it something we try to ignore? It is awful and painful and so so difficult, but trying to deny it or defer it puts us in a place of fear and bewilderment when it happens to us.
I propose that somehow, we must learn to embrace it. We must learn to walk in the heavy pain of this life, and in so doing to drink deeply of the eternally refreshing Spring of Life offered in the valley to the sheep. I do not have the practical application for this proposition, but I believe it is true. It is in brokenness that I find I am selfless, humble, and dependent on Love in ways I am not so during times of joy. The vision I am being taught to see is that somehow in these times we know Love, Peace, Grace, Faith, Hope, Joy and more and more in ways that we cannot know them during happiness. They become real, they are more than just Bible lessons. We come to know them intimately, in their most true, tested forms, and they come to live in us as we are broken. They cannot do so when we do not need them so desperately. We become dependent in broken, real, intense ways. Dependency characterizes us, and we find freedom as the Son of Man carries our sorrows and provides for Life to pour into us.
I propose that somehow, we must learn to embrace it. We must learn to walk in the heavy pain of this life, and in so doing to drink deeply of the eternally refreshing Spring of Life offered in the valley to the sheep. I do not have the practical application for this proposition, but I believe it is true. It is in brokenness that I find I am selfless, humble, and dependent on Love in ways I am not so during times of joy. The vision I am being taught to see is that somehow in these times we know Love, Peace, Grace, Faith, Hope, Joy and more and more in ways that we cannot know them during happiness. They become real, they are more than just Bible lessons. We come to know them intimately, in their most true, tested forms, and they come to live in us as we are broken. They cannot do so when we do not need them so desperately. We become dependent in broken, real, intense ways. Dependency characterizes us, and we find freedom as the Son of Man carries our sorrows and provides for Life to pour into us.
Go ye forth and walk in the darkness of your grief, that you may find the truth of Light and perfect Peace.
